Eagles 40, Chiefs 22
by Patrick P. Marek
Somewhere in Philadephia on Monday morning, Eagles fans were still warming themselves in front of celebratory dumpster fires. That’s because the Chiefs, apparently unimpressed by the Caesars Superdome pre-game activities and the revenge rap stylings of Kendrick Lamar, decided to spice things up by performing a magic trick of David Copperfield proportions. They transformed into the Minnesota Vikings.
Three-time Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes was much more accurate with his Sam Darnold “deer in the headlights” imitation than he was with his passes. Mahomes held the ball way too long to overcome an overmatched offensive line (sound familiar?) and was sacked six times and hit 11 times. He finished 21-32 for 257 yards, three touchdowns (although they came when the game had been decided), two interceptions, and a lost fumble. The Eagles were ahead 34-0 before the Chiefs crossed midfield. After an exciting season that featured a 12-0 record in one-score victories, the Chiefs picked the absolute worst time to come out flat, listless, and mismatched. Once again, this sounds eerily familiar to the Vikings’ history and their unfortunate performance in big games, or after what should have been inspiring victories over the years. On that subject, I propose that the team adopt this motto: “The Minnesota Vikings: defying positive momentum since 1961.”
Although I am not a fan of either the Eagles or the Chiefs, I fervently despise the Eagles. I should back that up a bit … I don’t have anything against most of the Eagle players, especially Jalen Hurts, Saquon Barkley, and A.J. Brown, who all have at one time played for my fantasy team. I do, however, have issues with the Eagles fans, who once booed Santa Claus, turned a feel-good story about a centenarian Vikings fan into an “F-Bomb Millie!” chant, and who pelted Minnesota fans with full cans of food before the 2018 NFC Championship game. Let’s face it. There’s a reason that the Eagles’ former stadium had its own police station.
The Eagles total destruction of the Chiefs made a thoroughly boring Super Bowl an excruciating experience … although to be honest, Tom Brady’s insipid announcing and the incomprehensible halftime music performance contributed to the nightmare. What ever happened to performers like Tom Petty, Prince, and Paul McCartney? Luckily, at least most of the commercials (especially the Meg Ryan-Billy Crystal “When Harry Met Sally” reboot), were amusing, and all of the snacks at the Marek home were exceptional.
Before we turn the page of the always exciting but ultimately unsatisfying 2024 Vikings season, a little unfinished business. Congratulations to Jared Allen for being elected into the Hall of Fame and to Kevin O’Connell for Coach of the Year honors. Jared always brought his “A” game to the field with high energy, team inspiring performances. He was a five-time Pro Bowl player, a four-time All Pro Bowl selection and recorded 136 sacks. His enthusiasm, energy, and awesome defensive line skills were an inspiration for fans and teammates alike. Best of all, he made watching the Vikings’ defense fun! KOC has created a unique and positive culture for the team and has grown every year in his role as head coach. He never talks down about a player to the media and usually takes any blame on himself. Hopefully he can convince his general manager to acquire talented free agents at offensive guard, center, and defensive tackle. His biggest challenge for 2025 is to get his team to stop playing down to their competition and begin dominating opponents. Then, Minnesota might just be able to get past the first round of the playoffs.
If you are feeling sad about the end of the Vikings’ season, take heart. It’s almost free agent signing time again. Thanks for your loyal readership, and stay purple my friends.